For those of you who know me,
you know this year sucked.

In the space of a few months,
I lost my job,
my work permit,
my home,
my life in Singapore,
and my best friend.

None of the above was within my control.
And for the first time in my life,
I wasn’t able to choose my own adventure.
Which killed me a little bit.
Because you know I love a good adventure.

For the past 33 years, every major decision I’ve ever made was made wholeheartedly.

But coming home and leaving behind the life that I loved?
I did that one with my heart ripped open.

But in the past 6 months:

I’ve moved to the other side of the world
(during a global pandemic.)
I’ve gone back to school.
I’ve lived with my parents.
I’ve moved to a brand new city.
I’ve started a new career and landed a great job.

I’ve cried.

Wow, how I’ve cried.

But I’ve also reconnected with friends and family
that use to be a world away.
I’ve danced down the sunny side of the street,
literally to my own beat.
I’ve bought myself flowers, once a week.
I’ve become a morning person. (WHAT!?)
and I’ve never loved myself more.

Because losing everything in one fell swoop,
and how I’ve carried myself since then, 
has reminded me of who I am.
And she is pretty f*cking great.

–
To all of you out there,
going through hard times.
I see you.
I feel you.
You will see the forest, within the trees.
And you too, are going to be okay.
–

Here are some of the little things that helped along the way.

1. Make. A. Playlist.

I cannot stress this enough.
We believe the voices in our head,
and Spotify gives you the magic ability to curate those voices.
Choose good ones.

This one’s my favourite.

2. Change your phone case.

It’s such a little thing.
But your life is entirely different now.
Pick a new colour,
choose a new print.
You weren’t even a beige type of person, anyways.

3. Buy yourself something awesome.

That leather jacket you’ve always wanted? Do it.
An overpriced matchy-matchy yoga outfit? Winning.
A super girly duvet that he never would have approved of? Already on it.
I took the money that I would’ve spent on a Valentine’s day gift.
and bought myself a decent espresso machine.

Why?
Because I’m worth it.

4. Stretch.

Stretch your body.
Stretch your mind.
Learn something new.
Set new goals.
Sometimes, my goal is to make 2 new friends.
Other times, it’s to not eat all of the butter chicken in my fridge.
Lately, it’s to love myself even more than I loved him. 
You owe it to yourself to make something awesome come from all of this.

5. Date yourself.

Even if it costs you 9 million dollars in oysters.
Because you are all you need right now.
And you, are pretty f*cking great.
__

I wouldn’t have been able to write this love letter without all of the people who helped me along the way. You know who you are.

Thank you for loving me, anyways.